A Lakes Return

On the evening of 18 July 2018, I kicked off my familiar northern pilgrimage, leaving work in Southampton to gun the black Clio Sport 172 up the motorway for an overnight pitstop at my usual Preston haunt.

Waking up on the 19th, I pushed onwards into the Lake District, pitching my tent in a friend’s field right by the water in Glenridding before immediately tackling the climb up to Kirkstone Pass for some lunch. Sitting outside the Kirkstone Pass Inn, the peace was shattered in the most spectacular way when a military jet roared directly over the pass, flying so low it felt like I could reach out and touch it.

Energised by the sight, I spent the afternoon on an epic driving loop that began with the dramatic, brooding valley of Wasdale before taking on the most formidable tarmac in England: the infamous dual-pass route of Wrynose and Hardknott. Entering Wrynose Pass, the road narrowed to a single track with passing places, tracing a glacial valley alongside the River Duddon. The Clio’s sharp handling was put to the test on its tight, winding layout, culminating at the Three Shire Stone at the summit.

 

From there, I moved directly onto the legendary Hardknott Pass, widely regarded as one of the most challenging and exhilarating drives in the UK. Built originally by the Romans, the pass is notorious for its relentless, dizzying series of hairpin bends that require total concentration. The stark road signs at the bottom explicitly warned of the brutal 30% gradient ahead, but they certainly didn't prepare me for the bizarre obstacle waiting around one of those near-vertical bends: a massive white bull standing defiantly in the middle of the tarmac, completely blocking the pass.

After carefully squeezing the nimble Clio past the beast, I safely navigated the rest of the steep descent and looped back towards the tent, arriving just in time to catch the final sailing of the Ullswater 'Steamers'. Leaving the hot hatch parked safely at the Glenridding pier.

I swapped the roaring engine of the hot hatch for the rhythmic, gentle chug of one of the heritage vessels—historic, elegant boats that have been cruising these waters since the Victorian era. Stepping onto the open deck, the stress of the 30% pass melted away into complete tranquility. The steamer cut a smooth path through the deep water, offering a totally different, panoramic perspective of the towering fells that frame the lake. The round-trip cruise took us all the way to Pooley Bridge at the northern tip of the lake and back, giving me plenty of time to enjoy the cool breeze and the beautiful, changing evening light reflecting off the water.

Once back on dry land, I took one last driving detour around the far side of the lake. Passing through Howtown, I wound my way up into Martindale to hike up Hallin Fell, where I sat in the evening air looking out over the majestic, glass-like expanse of Ullswater—knowing completely that I had found my absolute happy place.